Being a girl is hard.  Being an adult girl is even harder.  Being an adult girl trying to make new friends is the hardest thing in the world.

You always hear people say that friends come and go, that the right ones for you will stay, that this is the year to get rid of toxic friendships, blah blah blah.  But at the end of the day, regardless of the details, losing a friend is really freaking hard.

I’ve come to the conclusion that BFF breakups are harder than other breakups, because BFF breakups aren’t “socially accepted.”  What I mean by that is – when people get divorced or break up with their significant other, it’s natural and well-mannered for others to say, “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that” or to give you a hug.  Whereas, when you, as an adult, unwillingly tell people that you and your best friend broke up, they kind of laugh and shrug it off.

But this is no joke.  Losing my best friend of 8+ years feels exactly like grieving a death in my family.

After some harsh words, and months of tears and sleepless nights (sounds dramatic, I know, but it’s real)…  I sat down with a few glasses of wine (or the bottle), and downloaded Bumble BFF.  And MAN, was it painful.  After scrolling through what seemed like hundreds of women, and swiping left on every single one, the app slapped me in the face with a: “Looks like you’re out of people…”  I kid you not.  I burst into tears, thinking all sorts of irrational thoughts, like:  “I’m never, ever going to find another friend again.”

Anyway.  Fast forward a few weeks – after only talking to one girl on Bumble BFF (who is an amazing, fashion-obsessed, crazy cat lady like moi, by the way) – I completely lost all hope and interest in trying desperately to find a new BFF.

I went out with friends one weekend, and ran into an old friend, who I hadn’t seen in years… and boom.  She wants to have dinner.  And two other friends from middle school – they want to go on a girl date too!  Girls started reaching out to me in the most unexpected and sincere ways (thank you).  After running into that old friend, I came home so excited, bouncing off the walls, telling my husband all about it, and he casually says:  “See.  Right when you stopped trying so hard, the universe knew.”

And the universe did know.

First girl date was a success.  The desserts at Last Course on Regent taste as amazing as they look.  Super cute, super chic dessert studio.  Highly recommend.

XO NINA
@xoninackim

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